You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
