They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
