Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it because I queefed?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
