Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
