It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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