Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
