I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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