i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
