If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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