she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
soo... how was my night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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