Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
