I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
