just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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