there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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