Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
