I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
