do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
