dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize