We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
