We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
