I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
