Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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