we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
