dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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