hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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