i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
