If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
