One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
