she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize