I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You are a genius and a whore.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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