Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
