If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
