How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
