you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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