Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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