wakey wakey hands off snakey
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
