Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
