I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
