Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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