Whod you bang
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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