Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
