Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
