he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
