Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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