she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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