I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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