dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
