That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
