Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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