I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize