Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
