I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
