hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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