My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
