Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
