this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
