Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
