I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Two words: nipple clamps
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